Eternal Sunshine of the Kingoftunes' Mind

Tin Roof Rusted
It's been a while since I've journaled (blogged?) but Spazzer has "tagged" me with a request to document 6 songs that mean something to me. How can I resist? But just 6 songs???? For someone who associates music with just about every aspect of my life, as I do, this is an almost impossible request. I think I shall do this the Aeroaddict way and name the 6 songs and then have a list of honorable mentions. Take it or leave it!

1. Goodnight My Angel (Billy Joel): A really sweet, simple song that gets right to the heart of eternal love, this is the song I have long dedicated to M. If I say anything further, I'll get sappy.

2. Don't Know Why (Shawn Colvin): M's song for me. 'Nuff said.

3. I Will Always Love You (Whitney Houston): 4 minutes and 23 seconds of the best vocals ever put on record. Sure, it was over-played during the height of its popularity but it still sends chills down my spine. I remember exactly where I was the first time I heard it (in my bedroom in the apartment Spazzer and I shared on Ackerman Ave in Syracuse, NY). How many songs can you say that about? Whitney can be a crack whore if she must; as long as she has this song in her corner, she's immortal.

4. Landslide (Fleetwood Mac): There's a long story behind this one, which I'll skip. Suffice it to say, whenever I hear it, I always think of my friend, Catherine (aka The Queen of Puns). We must have exchanged literally hundreds of emails (most of them quite humorous) discussing this very song. The live version of this song is especially beautiful, with the always incredible Stevie Nicks giving the song a rueful reading that just about breaks your heart.

5. Cherish (Madonna): The subject of many a dorm room conversation between Spazzer and I. We both love Madonna but we always seem to disagree as to which her best songs are. I even recall us ranking all of Madonna's singles one night, only to find that our lists were almost completely opposite. "Cherish" is my absolute favorite Madonna song (with "Ray of Light" a very close second). Spazzer doesn't like it at all. I say, how can you not love this groovy little 60's throwback that makes you smile from ear to ear?

6. Love Shack (The B-52's): This one always brings me back to the spring and summer of 1990, when I graduated high school and got ready for my first year of college. Every single one of my friends absolutely hated this song but I was unrelenting in my fervor for it. For some reason, this song was discussed almost every single day during our study period (mostly by my friends, trying to convince me that it was a terrible song). It was even requested at the prom as sort of a joke. But I got the last laugh because "Love Shack" is now a prom/wedding reception staple. In any case, that was the summer of endless BBQ's and hanging out all day at beaches and "Love Shack" was the soundtrack.

And now for the honorable mentions:
-Don't Bring Me Down (ELO): the first song that I fell madly in love with, I begged my mom for months to buy me this record. Thank god, she finally relented. My sister and I sang this song all the time when we were kids.

-Heaven is a Place on Earth (Belinda Carlisle): oh yeah, it's really cheesy. But this is 4 minutes and 5 seconds of the hookiest, catchiest music ever created. I defy you not to sing along with it.

-I've Been Waiting For You/I Do, I Do, I Do (ABBA): If M and I ever get married, these two songs are going to be sung by a full on choir during the ceremony, a la "Muriel's Wedding". That's right, it's going to be the gayest wedding EVER! Get over it!

-Hang on Sloopy (The McCoys): This was the song that got me started on my love of oldies music. The section where they do the whole "Sloopy let your hair down girl/c'mon, c'mon" thing is kinda sexy, in a rock and roll way (and really, does there even need to be another way??)

-Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (Cyndi Lauper) & Come on Eileen (Dexy's Midnight Runners): These two songs came out just as my obsession with music was really blooming and, boy oh boy, was I ever obsessed with them. I seriously played both songs at least once a day (probably more like 3 or 4 times a day) for more than a year. They defined early MTV and they are the two best 80's new wave songs, period. I still go crazy whenever I hear these songs. Funny thing though - I still don't know the words to "Come On Eileen" even after having heard it probably more than a thousand times!

-True Colors (Cyndi Lauper) & The Rose (Bette Midler): If I had to pick a theme song, these two would have to share the honor.

-Making Love Out of Nothing At All (Air Supply) & Total Eclipse of the Heart (Bonnie Tyler): Both written by Jim Steinman and both on the charts at the same time ("Total Eclipse..." prevented "Making Love..." from reaching the number one spot), these two ballads are bombastic, overwrought and very long but, the hell with you all, I love 'em. Nothing better than cranking them up to full volume and singing along at the top of your voice. It's exhilarating, trust me!

-These Boots Are Made For Walking (Nancy Sinatra): What better way to end a list? "Are you ready boots? Let's start walkin'..."

Current Mood: energetic
Current Music: MacArthur Park - Donna Summer

American Idle
American Idol was beyond any possible redemption tonight. It was a truly sucky ending to a season that started out great and then headed slowly downhill each and every week. Normally I have a strong opinion about who should win by the time we get down to the bottom two. I was determined that sassy Kelly had to beat out chia-haired Justin in season one, praying on both knees that soulful Ruben would beat out nerdy, schmaltzy Clay in season two, and would have thrown my TV through the window if diva Fantasia hadn't kicked squeaky clean Diana's ass in season three. This time around though, I just don't care who wins. I mean, I would prefer that Bo win and I think he deserves it more but, in the end, I will not buy a CD by either person so it doesn't really matter who comes out on top.

Every season, the final two performers get saddled with an original ballad that both perform and which also gets released as the winner's first single. These ballads are always saccharine and mind-numbingly cloying but this years' song takes the cake. It was so boring that I can't even remember the title - something about finding heaven. Bo's version was slightly better than Carrie's version but I really have a hard time believing that anyone is going to rush out to buy a copy of such dreck, no matter who sings it. With the exception of Bo's repeat performance of “Vehicle”, the night was wall to wall ballads. I couldn't get through the show fast enough. Where are Constantine and Nadia when you need them?? Ah well, good luck Bo!

**
When did shopping turn out to be such a pain in the ass? It seems like I am getting the hard sell everywhere I go these days. I can understand that in a place like Best Buy where the floor staff is trying to make a commission but I'm really tired of getting to a register to make my purchases only to have the cashier try to interest me in some useless offer. At CVS, they ask if you have a CVS card and, if not, do you want one? At Best Buy, they want to know if you want a subscription to Entertainment Weekly or Sports Illustrated. At Barnes and Noble, they ask if you have a discount card and, if not, do you want one? At Costco, they ask if you want to become a professional card-holder (which is somehow different than being a regular card-holder). At Dominick's, they want you to pledge a dollar to some charity or other. I try to be friendly because the cashier is just the messenger - they're doing what their bosses are telling them to do. But I am also really getting sick of it. To me, it's almost a form of harassment. Just ring up my frickin' purchases and stop asking me questions.

And, while I'm on the subject of shopping, how annoying is it that some stores make you ring up your own purchases? It's not that I'm lazy and don't want to ring up my own purchases. It's just that these stores are moving to this process because it saves them money. Think of all the cashiers they don't have to pay now that the customers are doing the cashier's work. And yet, does the customer share in the savings? Hell no! The products still cost the same. If a store wants me to ring up my own purchases, then they should give me some kind of discount for doing so. It seems only fair. Until then, I am going to stand in the line that has a cashier, no matter how much they try and make me go to the self check-out line.

**
After the unadulterated pain that was “Strange Little Girls”, Tori Amos came back with “Scarlet's Walk”, a post-9/11 tale of one woman's journey through America. This is one of her more accessible CD's and even has a touching song in “I Can't See New York”. Some of the songs are a little bit too long but, all in all, I didn't mind listening to this one again. I still didn't pick any songs for my list though! M chose “Amber Waves”, “A Sorta Fairytale”, “Wednesday”, “Strange”, “Your Cloud”, “I Can't See NY”, “Taxi Ride” and “Gold Dust”.

“Scarlet's Walk” was followed up by “Tales of a Librarian”, which is a greatest hits collection. Hmm…I guess I'll have to ignore the oxymoron inherent in the phrase “Tori Amos' Greatest Hits”. “Mary” and “Snow Cherries From France” are the only two songs on the CD that have not been reviewed previously. M chose both for his list.

The most recent Tori CD (and the last one that will be reviewed here - hooray!) is “The Beekeeper” - a CD that is somehow supposed to represent the 6 different types of gardens. Despite the wacky garden thing, the songs are amongst the most approachable of all the songs she has written. I especially enjoyed her duet with Damien Rice, “The Power of Orange Knickers”. Damien's rough and raspy voice provides a good counterpoint to hers. I also appreciated the first glimpse of Tori humor I have ever heard, in “Hoochie Woman”. Still, I didn't add any of the songs to my list. M chose “Sweet the Sting”, “The Power of Orange Knickers”, “Jamaica Inn”, “Barons of Suburbia”, “Sleeps with Butterflies”, “Mother Revolution”, “Ribbons Undone”, Cars and Guitars”, “Witness”, “Hoochie Woman”, “Pisces” and “Toast”. Whew! Now that's a Tori fan!

List Counter: M-172; me-157

Current Mood: nervous
Current Music: Lonely - Akon

Hey, Hey Paula
We are down to the final three Idols and this week they each get to sing three songs: one chosen by the judges, one chosen by music biz vet Clive Davis (who really should be less focused on Idol and more focused on getting Whitney Houston's career back), and one chosen by the contestant themselves.

Vonzell: Baby V was the clear third-runner coming into the night and she really needed to knock at least two of her songs out of the park. First up was Clive Davis' pick of Dionne Warwick's “I'll Never Love This Way Again”. As Clive pointed out, the Vonz smiled very prettily during the song - maybe not the best thing to do in a song about losing a great love. For her own pick, Vonzell went back to her audition song (“Chain of Fools”) and was energetic and spunky but did not connect vocally in any sort of memorable way. Lastly, Simon selected the great “On the Radio” for her final performance. The Vonz actually does sound a little like Donna Summer but, for me, that realization only served to point out that Vonzell doesn't really have that distinctive of a voice. If I heard Vonzell on the radio (as it were) I would probably have a hard time knowing it was her. All in all, I expect Vonzell will be the one going home this week. She had a great run and made it further than I ever expected her to. B-

Bo: The undisputed star of the night - all three of his performances easily outshone Baby V and Carrie. Clive saddled Bo with Elton John's “Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me” - a song that I am truly tired of hearing. It's a great song but it has been remade far too many times and is also an Idol staple. My ears need a break from it. However, Bo gave a very graceful, heartfelt reading that made me see the song in a whole new light. Next up, Bo took a risk and performed an acapella “Within My Dreams”, a performance that will surely stand amongst the all-time greatest Idol moments. For the judges' pick, Paula chose “(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction” - a song that is perfectly suited for rocker Bo. Somehow though, the performance was a little lackluster. Not enough to be a detriment though - Bo is going all the way. A-

Carrie: Our country fembot is fighting Vonzell for the number two spot. I have already decided that Vonzell is going home but how I would love for Carrie to be the one that actually goes this week. Vocally, she is far superior to Vonzell but this girl has got zero personality and zero ability to intepret the songs she is singing. Carrie started out with Clive's pick of Roy Orbison's “Crying”. To be fair, this was one of her better performances but it still left me a little cold. For her own pick, she chose Air Supply's “Making Love Out of Nothing At All”. I let out a cry of joy when I heard she was going to sing it because, my oh my, do I love that song!! The girl can belt, that's for sure. But once again, it was clear that Carrie has no idea what it really feels like to make love out of nothing at all. For the last song of the night, Randy chose Shania Twain's “Man! I Feel Like a Woman”. Carrie is perfectly suited to this song but it was a truly bad performance, especially the opening notes, which were highly cringe-inducing. “…Like a Woman” is my favorite Shania song (certainly it's one of the catchiest songs ever written) so I did have hopes that Carrie could turn it into something fun. Alas, she can't seem to summon up the energy for even the hookiest of songs. At least we got to see the mayor of her hometown squirm when he announced that Randy had selected that song for her. What is with straight men and their awkwardness with that title? It's like that car ad where the one guy is having a great time singing along with the song and all his “friends” are shown trying to move away from him. It's just a song people. I bet most guys, when alone in their car, sing the song at top volume. Sheesh - sometimes I just hate straight men! In any case, Carrie should be able to beat out Vonzell and make the top two. She better not win though! B

**
Uh-oh - the next CD up is “Ultimate Country Party 2”. Hmm…how to explain this one??? Truth be told, my parents gave this to me for Christmas one year. It was on my list of CD's that I wanted and M refused to by it himself, so he figured he'd have my parents buy it so that he wouldn't have to be seen at Best Buy with it in his hands! As for why it was on my list of CD's, I wanted it for one song and one song only - Brooks and Dunn's remake of “My Maria”. It's one of the few remakes that I think are better than the original. In fact, I like it so much that it makes my top 1000 list.

A have a theory around buying CD's. Often you'll hear a song that you really like but you think to yourself that you probably wouldn't like a whole CD by that same artist. Brooks & Dunn is the perfect example of this. I actually really dislike them. I don't like male country artists in general. I think Garth Brooks is the anti-Christ, just as an example. For some reason I do tend to like female country singers better but even there my likes are limited (yay, Dixie Chicks!) Anyway. I heard Brooks and Dunn sing “My Maria” on an award show one year and I was really impressed - I just had to have the song. So, getting back to my theory, I decided that I wouldn't want a whole album by them. Far better to find a compilation that has the song and hope that there are more songs on the CD by other artists that I might actually like. Hence, “Ultimate Country Party 2”. In this case, my theory failed me as the CD is quite horrible. The first time I listened to it, the neighbors living in the apartment under me started banging on the ceiling in a futile attempt to get me to stop it (which I wouldn't do since said neighbors were the infamous Crazy Joe and Gypsy Cher and they deserved a little punishment!) The second (and last) time I listened to it was with M as part of our little Top 1000 project. He suffered mightily and, truth be told, I did as well. There's just something about songs with titles like “I Left Something Turned On At Home” and “Bubba Shot the Jukebox” that reaffirms my decision to never live anywhere in the south.

Now, of course, my compilation theory can finally be put to rest, through the miracle of iTunes. If I like a song, I can just download it and be done with it. Man, do I love my iPod!

List Counter: M-150; me-157

Current Mood: determined
Current Music: So Alive - Love & Rockets

Anthony Rising
I think this may be the most unexciting year of American Idol yet. It started off great with the audition rounds and a change in procedure that saw the viewers picking the top 12. But, as the weeks have worn on, this year's crop of Idols seems to get worse, not better. None of them seem to be trying all that hard, really. This week they tackled both Nashville and Philly Soul and, with the exception of one song by Bo, none of the performances was cause for excitement.

Carrie: The Nashville theme was tailor-made for Carrie and her version of the Dixie Chick's “Sin Wagon” got praise from the judges. Yet, it seemed to me like she had trouble keeping up with the pacing of the song. This girl has proven time and time again that she cannot move around the stage and sing at the same time. Kind of a problem for a would be performer, no? As for her take on Gamble & Huff's soul classic “If You Don't Know Me By Now”, the whole number moved at an absolutely glacial pace and she did not connect to the lyrics at all. C

Bo: His Nashville take on Travis Tritt's “It's a Good Day to Be Alive” was adequate but unexciting. However, he gave the sole strong performance of the night with a very funky version of the O'Jay's “For the Love of Money” and he received a highly enthusiastic response from the studio audience for his troubles. Bo is the only Idol of the remaining four that actually deserves to win the whole thing. B+

Vonzell: Poor, weepy Vonzell. What she was crying about, we may never know. If anything, the tears ought to earn her some sympathy votes. She's still cute as a button but she did not knock either of her numbers out of the park, which she really needed to do if she had hope of over-taking Bo (or even Carrie) in the final rounds. Her version of Trisha Yearwood's “How Do I Live” was slightly off, even though she does deserve points for changing up the song a bit. Her attempt at “Don't Leave Me This Way” was much more exciting but, alas, Simon was right - it was very messy. B-

Anthony: Just call him the little engine that could. He has stuck with the middle of the road, Clay Aiken-like performances throughout the competition and it has served him well. His cover of Lonestar's “I'm Already There” was slightly boring but vocally very strong and he both out sang and out performed Carrie with his own version of “If You Don't Know Me By Now”. B

All things being equal, it really is Carrie's time to go tonight. However, Carrie probably has a built up good will that will likely protect her, leaving Vonzell to take her final bow.

**
Egads…more Tori.

To Venus and Back: Wherein Tori doubles the pain by including a live album along with a studio album of new material. Her deviousness knows no bounds! M showed relative restraint, only choosing 4 songs from the studio album (“Bliss”, “Concertina”, “Glory of the 80's” and “1000 Oceans”). He chose 6 songs from the live album (“Precious Things”, “Bells for Her”, “Girl”, “Mr. Zebra”, “Little Earthquakes” and “Space Dog”.). For my part, I continue to abstain from the Tori love.

Strange Little Girls: Truly the nadir of all things Tori-related, this CD of cover songs is what will be playing on a constant loop if and when I end up in hell. Tori pulls out all the stops on this one, indulging in whispery vocals and manic phrasing to her heart's content. She even adds insult to injury by destroying beyond all recognition Neil Young's “Heart of Gold” which, you may or may not know, is the song that was number one the day I was born and is featured, via kanji symbols, in a tattoo on my arm. That beyotch! M admits that this is not an album he readily enjoys but he did pick out 3 songs for his list: “'97 Bonnie and Clyde”, “Enjoy the Silence” (if only I could), and “Real Men”.

Hey look, M is only 6 songs behind me now and is very likely to pull ahead of me as we encounter the 3 remaining Tori CD's. To think that everyone (including me) thought I would choose way more songs than he would!

List Counter: M-150; me-156

Current Mood: grumpy
Current Music: Chiquitita - ABBA

Carrie On, My Wayward One
We now enter the stage of the AI competition where each Idol sings two songs, the better to horrify America. Tonight, each Idol sang one Leiber/Stoller song (ie: 50's and 60's music) and one song that is currently in the Billboard Top 40.

Anthony: It's always a poor choice to sing a novelty song on AI (in this case, “Poison Ivy” by the Coasters) and the fact that Ant sang it very badly only makes matters worse. For his crucial second attempt, he decided to cover the Velveeta-drenched “Incomplete” by the Backstreet Boys and sounded only slightly better. C-

Scott: With even his attempts at humor coming across as more arrogant than funny, this guy has really worn out his welcome. His “On Broadway” was passable but his mangling of an already bad Brian McKnight song (“Every Time You Go Away”) merely served to point out that he should have been gone a long, long time ago. He might yet survive another week though, as Anthony was worse this week. C

Vonzell: Her arrangement of Elvis' “Treat Me Nice” was very unique but also a little messy. I liked the R&B inflection that she gave the song but Simon, as always, was contrary to the other two judges and gave poor Baby V the thumbs down. Her second attempt to curry favor with Simon was a cover of the very song the Idols have been promoting as their charity single, “When You Tell Me You Love Me”. Aside from the fact that all of America must surely be tired of hearing this double-Velveeta drenched song, Vonzell was merely adequate, thereby giving Simon the ammunition to predict her demise this week. Say it isn't so! B-

Bo: Clearly the favorite of both the judges and the audience, Bo only has to sing well enough not to incur any bad criticisms from the judges. His “Stand By Me” was rather safe/boring and his cover of Los Lonely Boys' “Heaven” was extremely faithful but compared to the other Idols, Bo is in a league all to himself. B+

Carrie: Her version of Elvis' “Trouble” was fun but, as always, Carrie does not connect to the song. She was completely unconvincing singing lines like “If you're looking for trouble, you've come to the right place” and “I'm evil, evil, evil…” She is a good singer but she cannot convey the meaning or emotion of any song she sings. For her second song, she went back to the country well with “Bless the Broken Road”. Again, she sang it well but even Simon was forced to admit that she comes across as robotic. Still, she is light years ahead of Scott and Anthony and she will almost certainly make the final two. B

Scott, Anthony and Vonzell will almost definitely be the bottom three this week. Scott has long over-stayed his welcome but he wasn't the worst this week - that was Anthony. Vonzell does not have the support of the judges and doesn't seem to get the general attention that the other Idols do, so I predict she will be (sadly) eliminated this week.

**
After a lethargic show like this week's Idol, what better to bring up the energy than Ultimate Dance Party 1997 and 1998? These are the last 2 of my Ultimate Dance Party CD's but not the last of the “Ultimate…” series (just 2 more to go!)

Ultimate Dance Party 1998: Once again, M enjoys these CD's far more than I do. Even though I can't personally relate to the song, my sole pick was Notorious B.I.G.'s “Mo Money, Mo Problems”, with its great “I'm Coming Out” sample. M chose Crush's “Jellyhead”.

Ultimate Dance Party 1997: By far and away, this is my favorite disc of this series. “Total Eclipse of the Heart” is one of my favorite songs and, even though I will always favor Bonnie Tyler's original, I also love Nikki French's dance remake. And, though the song is really rather ridiculous, I also had top pick Quad City DJ's “C'Mon N' Ride It (The Train)”. I also picked the only good song Ace of Base ever released, the bouncy and bright “Beautiful Life”. M and I both picked Aretha Franklin's diva-licious “A Deeper Love” - definitely the best song she has sung in the last 20 years. M also chose “Missing” by Everything But the Girl.

One song that I did not choose is Reel 2 Reel's “I Like To Move It”. Let's face it - it's a really bad song. But it does have a long history with us. It's been well documented by now that I can't really make out the lyrics to most songs. As a result, I just make up my own. Herewith, M's favorite lyrical mangling. The correct lyrics are “I like to move it, move it/I like to move it, move it/Yeah, yeah, yeah…move it”. Pretty straightforward, right? My own interpretation is slightly more, ahem, bizarre: “I like trombones and bacon/I like trombones and bacon/Yeah, yeah, yeah…bacon”. It doesn't make sense, I know, but that's how I heard it. And forevermore, that is how I shall sing it. Because I really do like trombones and bacon. Especially bacon. Mmmmm…bacon. If you ever happen to hear the song, try my lyrics - they fit surprisingly well!

List Counter: M-137; me-156

Current Mood: distressed
Current Music: Hollaback Girl - Gwen Stefani

Scotty the Grotty
Is it bad that tonight's AI theme was songs from 2000 to current and I didn't recognize three of the six songs? I guess this decade hasn't exactly been stellar from a music standpoint. And, if you thought the songs were bad in their original format, your opinion definitely would not have improved upon hearing the Idol versions!

Carrie: Started off the show by going to her country roots with some Martina McBride song about god fearin' women getting the blues. All I can say is that, between the country song and the “god fearin'” title, Carrie has got the red states sewn up. C+

Bo: Wearing his hippie best (and a pair of Lenny Kravitz sunglasses), Bo took on Gavin DeGraw's “I Don't Wanna Be” which is perhaps best known as the theme song to “One Tree Hill”, a cheesy show that I happen to watch just because Chad Michael Murray is on it. Anyway, Bo managed to rock-ify the song far more than Gavin ever did but it still was not very exciting. B

Vonzell: Still a cutie and still managed to draw praise from Randy and Paula for tackling a difficult song (Christina Aguilera's “I Turn To You”). But, as much as I hate to admit it, Simon was right - the vocals weren't as good as Randy and Paula proclaimed them to be. Vonzie has fabulous stage presence though. B

Anthony: He picks songs that play to his strengths vocally and image-wise. But young Tony is a rather safe, milk and cookies kind of guy, no? As for the song, it was Celine Dion's “I Surrender”. I have a few of her CD's (yeah, I know - it was a lapse in taste) but I'm not familiar with that particular song. B-

Constantine: I really, really hate Nickelback's “How You Remind Me”. I think it is easily one of the worst songs ever. Seriously. So, Connie got no points from me with his ham-fisted approach to the song. C

Scott: Just go away already. If only because I'm so tired of hearing Ryan refer to you as "Scotty the Body". Ugh! D

Bottom three this week: hmmm…tough choice since none of the 6 really stepped it up tonight. My guess is that it will be Scott, Anthony and Constantine. And, as with the past three/four weeks, I'm really hoping Scott will go. Take the hint already dude!!!!

**
Back to the Tori CD's. The next two are “Boys For Pele” and “From the Choirgirl Hotel”. My lack of Tori love has already been documented and M keeps choosing almost all the songs from these albums (though he showed less love for the wacky “…Pele”, out of all her albums.) So, no review per se and I'm too lazy to type out all the song titles that M did choose, so I'll just say that he chose 17 songs. I chose none, zero, zip. No surprise there!

List Counter: M-134; me-151

Current Mood: worried
Current Music: Wishing On A Star - The Cover Girls

Vonzarelli's Happy Days
Welcome to 70's Dance Night on American Idol. Despite the fact that large swatches of America are still convinced that disco sucks, the Idol folks continue to do disco night every year (though they now call it 70's dance night, as if that fools anyone). And you know what? I like disco and I like disco night on Idol. It's about time they try to raise the energy level in that place.

Constantine: Whoa, Connie is working the Billie Joe Armstrong (of Green Day) eye liner look tonight. And I like it! It's kinda sexy. Oh lord, help me now. He's also got improved hair styling. In this case, the look is a good distraction from what was a merely passable rendition of “Nights on Broadway”. Connie didn't really seem to have much energy tonight - applying all that make-up must've taken it all out of him. B

Carrie: How does one sing a high energy song like “MacArthur Park” and yet not move even one little iota during the entire song? Oh sure, she walked to various parts of the stage but she did not boogie, not even a little. She has a good voice but her stage presence is quite robotic. The judges clearly are pushing this girl as the winner of the whole thing so they never, ever say anything bad about her. They should have noted her boring showmanship and also mentioned that the vocals weren't quite all that. By the by, I checked the Idol message boards tonight and the big topic is this song and what it means. The posters have two theories: 1) it's a totally meaningless, dumb song or 2) it's about drugs. Seriously, I absolutely love this song and I can't understand why people can't figure out the meaning. So let me school y'all: the cake is a metaphor for love. She's lost her love (it was neglected) and now she doesn't think she'll know how to find love again. Seems pretty straightforward to me but I forget that we live in a country where everyone takes things so fucking literally. In any case, I really hope Carrie doesn't win. C

Scott: I think the only person he has “Everlasting Love” for is himself. Once again, a boring, uninspired performance with notes just flying every which way. D

Anthony: He continues to successfully work the middle of the road. Tonight's rendition of “Don't Take Away the Music” was a good one. His vocals were on the mark and it was nice to see a little energy from him. In fact, he was the first performer of the night to really show any energy at all. B

Vonzell: Now this is what dance music is all about. The girl may not have the strongest vocals but she continues to tackle songs (like tonight's “I'm Every Woman”) that are a challenge to any singer and she comes off smelling like roses. And she has fun. She is energetic and uses her personality to sell her singing. I noticed tonight that a lot of the idols are really relying on the back-up singers and Vonzell is in that group as well. The thing is, you don't notice it as much with her because she actually manages to keep you focused on her. A-

Anwar: Hopping around on the stage like a manic bunny does nothing to help sell a poorly controlled version of “September”. This performance in particular made me notice the back-up singers because they literally did 90% of the singing. The 10% that was Anwar, was all out of tune. C-

Bo: OK, “Vehicle” is not really a dance song and it's barely even 70's (it came out in 1969 but peaked on the charts in early 1970) but Bo is excused because watching him sing an actual disco song would have been painful beyond belief. As it was, he “brought it” (in the words of Randy). A-

Scott, Anwar and Carrie deserve to be in the bottom 3 this week. And please let this be the week that Scott finally sings his last charisma-free note.

**
Oh dear, I'm still working the “Ultimate” CD's in my CD collection. So far we have been through ultimate divas, ultimate smash hits, ultimate new wave party etc. Now I come to 4 Ultimate Dance CD's. Let's take 'em two at a time and maybe, just maybe, I might get finished with all these CD reviews someday!

Ultimate Dance Party 2000: Of the two of us, M has a much higher appreciation for dance music and remixes. I like disco but dance music is not my preferred genre. Of the four CD's, this is my least favorite. There was a time in the late 90's when dance music had a bit of a resurgence but by 2000 it had pretty much died. So much so that I don't think the record company produced any more discs in this series. In any case, M chose Amber's “Sexual (Li Da Di)” and the Hani remix of Pink's “There You Go”. For my part, I was just relieved when the disc finally ended!

Ultimate Dance Party 1999: Hmmm…I'm kind of embarrassed by my picks on this one. Ah well, I'm sure there's much worse to come! I picked the Backstreet Boy's “Everybody (Backstreet's Back)” (love that whole “ooh ooh ooh” intro) and Next's rather explicit but funky “Too Close”. M and I both chose Smash Mouth's sixties throwback “Walkin' On the Sun” and Deborah Cox's “Nobody's Supposed to Be Here”. On his own, M picked Ultra Nate's “Free”, Diana King's remake of “I Say A Little Prayer” and Amber's “One More Night”.

List Counter: M-117; me-151

Current Mood: cynical
Current Music: Lonely No More - Rob Thomas

Nadia Turner-Over, She's Done
So Ryan Seacrest is once again asking the Idols to guess what this week's theme will be. He holds up several baby pictures and Anwar says “nursery rhymes”!!?!?!?!?!?! I mean, really dude, did you honestly think that America would sit through an hour long session of nursery rhymes? And if they did, couldn't they reasonably be expected to fall asleep about 2-3 songs in, since that's what nursery rhymes are meant to do after all?? No, my dear dumb lunk, the theme is “songs from the year you were born”. Kind of not fair actually because some years are way better than others, song-wise. Nonetheless, the whole show was a vast improvement over last weeks Broadway fiasco.

Nadia: She opened the show with Crystal Gayle's “When I Dream”. Like last week, it was a sultry reading and I quite liked it. However, the judges seem to have given up on her and were rather dismissive of her efforts. I expect that she will be in the bottom three this week. B-

Bo: I hope everyone yelled “Freebird” because, for once, that request was actually granted. Bo didn't break any new ground but he did fine. He hasn't been in the bottom three yet and is unlikely to end up there this week. B

Anwar: On the one hand, he ought to be admired for consistently choosing songs that are difficult to sing (like this week's “I'll Never Love This Way Again”). On the other hand, he's rather foolish to keep doing this since his vocals don't ever quite seem to reach the heights required. The judges praised him this week but it didn't sound very good to me. C+

Anthony: Hey look, there's Hall & Oates sitting in the audience. And now Anthony is going to sing “Every Time You Go Away” which Daryl Hall wrote but is better known as a Paul Young song. Young Ant was fine. Boring but fine. B-

Vonzell: She wants to hear it for the boy. Man, I love that song! And I really like Vonzell - she is just too adorable. I was glad the judges praised her, especially after she undeservedly ended up in the bottom three last week. But yet…it really seemed more like she was shouting the song than singing it. B

Scott: Yep, Hall & Oates are still in the audience. And Scott is going to take on “She's Gone”. Oh lordy, those first notes were absolutely horrible. Scott could sing the choruses but not the verses. If Hall had ever sung it that way, we would never have heard from them ever again. The judges weren't too kind and Ryan attempted to shore up some support by asking Hall & Oates what they thought. Of course, they gave the thumbs up. What else were they supposed to do? D

Carrie: Hey, what's Alicia Silverstone doing here? Oh wait, that's Carrie with straightened hair. Looking good, girl. Taking on Pat Benatar's classic “Love Is A Battlefield” was a good idea because this is the first time Carrie has shown any sort of personality. Vocally, it was a little off though. Still, bonus points for also throwing in the Pat Benatar shoulder thrusting dance moves! B-

Constantine: As soon as he said he was going to sing “Bohemian Rhapsody”, I knew we'd be in for a treat. This guy is really growing on me and his performance tonight was nothing short of awesome. A

The bottom three this week will be Scott, Nadia and Anwar with Scott hopefully getting the boot. Maybe Daryl Hall will still be there and can stand up and sing “He's Gone”.

**
Anyone who has been reading these journals knows that M and I have an extensive CD collection. The bulk of the CD's are mine but as we have worked our way through the “A's”, I have had a wary eye on M's biggest contribution to our collection, 9 CD's by the high priestess of pretension, Miss Tori Amos. M is a dedicated Tory-ite. I however, rue the day she ever set her vocals to tape. Her best known song is “Silent All These Years” and I have been known to say on many an occasion, “if only she had been silent all these years…” That one always gets a scowl from M.

And now a Tori story (hey, that rhymes!): I once told M that I had read an article in which Tori had stated that her writing process was a very simple one. She likes to takes phrases that come to her mind, write them down on a scrap of paper and then place them in a jar. When she needs a full song, she takes all the scraps of paper, places them all on the floor and then randomly combines them. M had no problem believing this was a true story (it's not) which only serves to illustrate my point that even her fans admit that her lyrics make absolutely no sense whatsoever. I'm not making any judgements here - if you want to like Tori, that's fine with me. I just personally have no patience for listening to something that sounds like it came out of poetry night at the local artsy goth girl hang-out.

That said, Tori's first album, “Little Earthquakes”, is by far her most accessible album. M has played it enough times that some of the songs even managed to grow on me. Despite my joke about it, I always have liked “Silent All These Years”. I also like “Crucify” and the very sweet (and it actually makes sense) “Winter”. For his list, M chose every song on the album except “Mother”.

“Little Earthquakes” was followed by “Under the Pink”, where Tori starts heading off towards la-la land in earnest. Once again, M picked almost the entire album, except for two songs (“The Wrong Band” and “Space Dog”). Despite finding the song “God” somewhat humorous (“God sometimes you don't come thru/Do you need a woman to look after you”), I didn't choose anything from this album - a theme which will continue through the remainder of the Tori discs. But I'll get to those in later journals. If you've been watching the song totals below, now is when you will start to notice M's totals finally approaching my own!

List Counter: M-109; me-146

Current Mood: irate
Current Music: Tortured, Tangled Hearts - The Dixie Chicks

Bice Bice Baby
Welcome to show tunes week on American Idol. Contrary to popular belief, not all of us gays love show tunes and I am one such show tune-averter. I did like “Rent”, loved it actually, but that's about the extent of it for me. And the Idols certainly seemed to be lacking in musical theater knowledge as well, with the exception of Constantine who reveals more and more each week that he is definitely not a rocker - not that there is anything wrong with that. But that does bring up a point. These contestants are all actively pursuing a career in music but they seem to have very limited knowledge of music in general. You would think they would have had a love of music that made them want to become singers themselves. But week after week, we are informed that the contestants had never before heard the song they were about to sing. Even in the audition rounds, we get to sit and watch as hopeful after hopeful messes up the words to songs like “Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch” and “Where Did Our Love Go” - songs that every breathing American ought to know the words to, even if only by osmosis.

Scott: Kicked off the show with “The Impossible Dream” which only scored to higlight the fact that any hope of him actually winning is an impossible dream. He is boring, his vocals were off and he needs to go. Now! C-

Constantine: Loved his interpretation of “My Funny Valentine”. The arrangement was different (in a pleasing way) and he actually sang very well. Whereas Bo seems to have imprisoned himself in rocker land, Constantine is proving himself to be an all-around entertainer. A-

Carrie: Vacant girl comes on with a very boring (yet elegant) version of “Hello Young Lovers”. Won't do her any favors but shouldn't hurt her either. B-

Vonzell: Gets better and better week after week. Mikalah was probably cursing the fact that she didn't get to stick around long enough to offer her own take on “People” but something tells me Vonzell still would have been better. A-

Anthony: Climb Every Mountain if you must. Just stop singing tripe like this. He looks more and more like Clay Aiken every week and we never even needed the first Clay, never mind an imitator. D+

Nikko: Contining his histrionic vocalizing, his “One Hand, One Heart” was the very definition of karaoke hell. Yet Paula and Randy continue to praise him. Go figure. C-

Anwar: Still the best singer technically and a definite improvement over last week but the whole thing veered too close to Nikko-messy-vocal territory for me. “If Ever I Would Leave You” could be yet another one of those prophetic songs. C+

Bo: Tried his best to put his hippie/rocker spin on “My Corner of the Sky” and was simply adequate. B-

Nadia: She gave a sultry, torchy reading of “As Long As He Needs Me” but didn't get much in the way of feedback (good or bad) from the judges as they rushed through their comments to avoid the show running overtime. This could definitely hurt her vote wise, especially since she's been in the bottom three for the last two weeks. B

I predict the bottom three this week will be Scott, Anthony and Nadia with Anthony getting kicked off.

**

I reviewed Vintage Instrumentals Volume 1 last week. This week, I am lumping the last two volumes (2 & 3) together. Again, I bought them to fill out my number one songs collection (Vol. 2 has “Wonderland By Night” and “The Stripper” on it; Vol. 3 has “Stranger on the Shore”). M & I enjoyed listening to both CD's but neither of us are all that into instrumental music - nor is the general public since there hasn't been a number one instrumental since 1986 (“Miami Vice Theme” - remember that chestnut? Ugh!)

We didn't pick any songs from Vol. 2 for our lists but M did pick “Cha Hua Hua” (by the Pets) and “Sleep Walk” (Santo & Johnny) from Vol. 3. Also from Vol. 3, we both picked the always cool theme song from “Mission: Impossible” (Lalo Schifrin).

Hey that might be a good idea for an Idol theme: instrumental week. The Idols can just stand there while the music plays and give all our ears a little break!

List Counter: M-88; me-143

Current Mood: hot
Current Music: Fire and Ice - Pat Benatar

Here's To You, Anwar Robinson
Tonight, the Spazzer joined M and I for our weekly viewing of American Idol. 'Cept she spent most of the time getting ready for her inaugural attempt at speed dating. Sigh…our straight wife is leaving the coop! Here's hoping the pickings weren't too slim! In any case, the pickings were slim indeed on Idol tonight - the performers this year are inconsistent at best and tonight was an off-night for most.

Bo: Rocker Bo kicks off the show with the Black Crowes' “Remedy”. Bo knows how to rock the cowboy wear. Bo knows how to rock an audience. And Bo knows how to rock Paula (by giving her is sweaty cowboy hat…ick). Actually, it's not too hard to keep Paula on your good side - she loves everyone when she is one of her drunken stupors. B

Jessica: From trashy to classy in one week. She looked good for a change but her song (“On the Side of Angels”) was rough in spots and ultimately unmemorable. She is likely to be in the bottom 3 this week. C

Anwar: I still really like this guy - I mean, he is just so gosh-darned nice. But “I Believe I Can Fly”??? That song sucks no matter who sings it and he sang it very poorly indeed. The beginning was a mess and the ending was only slightly redeemed by his hitting the high notes. C+

Nadia: I like when Nadia goes for the rockier songs, in this case “I'm the Only One”. It was a vast improvement over last week. She has star power to spare but am I the only one who notices her somewhat odd facial contortions when she sings? Sometimes she looks angry (sorta like “You bastard note…you will come out right”) and one second later she is smiling (“Hah…the note came out right”) I chalk it up to her really feeling the song but sometimes it's a little distracting. B

Constantine: What the heck were the judges thinking, praising his really scarifying version of “I Can't Make You Love Me”??? It was truly painful to hear yet the judges dubbed it his best performance yet. He must be supplying Paula's liquor stash - that can be the only explanation. C-

Nikko: Another one that the judges seem to be foolishly praising. I just cannot get behind his histrionic loverman balladry. D+

Anthony: He tackled a rather boring song: Elton John's “Something About the Way You Look Tonight”. It wasn't all that interesting but vocally he was much better than Nikko and Constantine yet the judges gave him a hard time while praising the other two. What gives? C+

Carrie: Looking good, sounding good. She needs to work on her stage presence though. Last week there was some criticism that the back-up singers helped her out a great deal with her rendition of “Alone” so it was nice to see that she handled this song mostly solo and still sounded good. B+

Scott: He had better be going home this week. The entire performance was just a mess. The song just might prove to be prophetic (“One Last Cry”). D

Vonzell: Continuing to improve week after week, she gave a nicely controlled performance of “I Have Nothing”, a song which is really very difficult to sing. She is quickly becoming the underdog that might take the whole thing. A-

I predict that Scott, Jessica and Anwar will be the bottom three this week with Scott getting the boot.

**
Next up on the CD front: “Vintage Instrumentals Volume 1”. I just recently purchased the first three volumes of this series, as they contain some of the number one songs I am missing. Instrumentals aren't really my thing but I'd much rather purchase a compilation featuring different artists as opposed to purchasing, say, Lawrence Welk's “Greatest Hits” just so that I can have a copy of his one number one song.

Most of the songs are from the late 50's and early 60's with about three or four later songs thrown in. A few of the songs are the muzak-type numbers that were popular in the early 60's (such as the aforementioned Welk's “Calcutta”) but most are rock-influenced songs and plenty of the them feature the sort of wacky instrumentation found on many 60's songs (the Tornadoes “Telstar”, for example). I kept referring to the songs as “jaunty” as we were listening to the CD. We enjoyed them but we didn't love anything enough to add it to our lists. Mostly, it's just a pretty cool time capsule that is fun to listen to every once in a while.

We'll see if volumes 2 & 3 continue the fun or if they begin to take the novelty factor to too much of an extreme.

List Counter: M-85; me-142

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: Chapel of Love - The Dixie Cups

Nikko Wafers
Tonight two of my biggest loves collided. That's right, American Idol meets the Billboard #1 songs. They did this same theme night in season 2 and it was great. Tonight's was way better though. With the exception of one singer, all the rest sang songs that have not previously been done on Idol. What a relief to see some new material. It really raised the game too because the performances were far better this week.

Anthony: Well, the Spazzer would shudder to imagine this guy taking on her beloved “I Knew You Were Waiting For Me” (both the Aretha and George parts) but he was quite good. Simon didn't care for it but it should be enough to advance him into the top 10. B-

Carrie: Girlfriend comes out with the way big 80's hair and the first thing I can think is that she looks really trashy. But then she starts singing Heart's “Alone” and all is understood. And, wow, she sounded just like the Wilson sisters. An amazing performance that will propel her to the lead of the pack. A

Scott: The only one to choose a song that has been sung before (at least twice before, in fact) and, as usual with this guy, I was not impressed. I absolutely love “Against All Odds” when Phil Collins sings it but I have yet to see anyone on this show do it any justice. C

Bo: He really, really dialed it down with a very sensitive performance of “Time in a Bottle”. I don't know if the relative simplicity of the song will hurt or help Bo but his past performances should keep him in the top group. B

Nikko: He took on one of my very least favorite songs, Sisqo's sniveling “Incomplete”. This song was number one only because it was released as a single with the previously unavailable “Thong Song” (which, I am embarrassed to admit, I like a great deal). If “Thong Song” hadn't been included on the single, there is no way “Incomplete” would have even made the top 10. Of course, none of this has anything to do with Nikko but I really just don't care for this guy. He is not that great a singer, he shows little to no range and he relies of theatrics and dancing to mask his vocals. I want him to go away. C-

Vonzell: Knocks it out of the park with a high energy take on The Emotion's classic “Best of My Love”. She always looks great and, at long last, her vocals were as strong as I always knew they could be. B+

Constantine: Continuing to shred any rocker cred he might have had, he decided to go with The Partridge Family's “I Think I Love You”. Don't get me wrong - this is one of my favorite songs. It's the absolute essence of cheesy 70's music and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! However, Constantine may have laid the cheese on a little too thick. It was a very over-the-top, campy performance that might cause him to lose part of his fan base (the part that doesn't understand what irony is, would be my guess). Still, gotta love him for trying. B

Nadia: Love the big mohawk! She is fierce, no question about it. And she sang “Time After Time” by one of the most under-rated singers ever, Cyndi Lauper. That said, the performance was a bit rocky. The tempo changed in a very odd manner and Nadia did nothing to show off her vocals. Hopefully, it won't hurt her this week because she deserves to make the top 3. C+

Mikalah: Oy! Taylor Dayne is the perfect singer for Mikalah to take on but her only number 1 song was “Love Will Lead You Back”. If one of her rockier numbers had hit #1 (like “I'll Be Your Shelter”) that would have been far better suited to Mikalah. As it was, the ballads do not show her in the best light. This was probably her swan song. By the way, whatever happened to Taylor Dayne? She has an amazing voice. I want her back! C

Anwar: I have the very book that Ryan Seacrest brandished at the beginning of the show when explaining this weeks' theme (“The Billboard Book of Number 1 Hits”) and I promise you that “Ain't Nobody” is not in the book. It didn't hit number one so why did Anwar sing it? In fact Chaka has never had a #1 song - how can that be?? In any case, Anwar still has the best vocals in the competition but his performance tonight was unmemorable. B-

Jessica: Yes! I absolutely love “Total Eclipse of the Heart” and Jessica has the perfect voice to pull it off. I enjoyed her performance but the judges praised it too highly - probably in an attempt to help her avoid her fate from last week, when she was (somewhat unexpectedly) in the bottom three. The song was arranged somewhat oddly and Jessica seemed to be having a little difficulty staying on top of it all. Still, she does not deserve to be in the bottom three (not just yet, anway). B

By all rights, this is Mikalah's week to go but I think there might just be an upset this week. Nadia, Bo and Anwar all gave lesser performances this week and, even though they are rightfully considered front-runners, at least one of them might find themselves in the bottom three. And, personally, I'd rather see Nikko or Scott go in place of Mikalah.

**

I have to back track a little on the CD reviews. I have been working backward through all my compilation albums and had gotten into the U's. However, I've had a few new additions to the collection recently in the V's and the W's so backwards we go!

As I have been adding the Billboard #1 songs to my iPod, I have come across a few songs that I am missing on CD. One of those is “We Are the World” which is virtually impossible to find on CD anywhere. Understandably so, since the song is so incredibly dated and I can't imagine there is a high demand for it. The original album was issued on CD but the company stopped producing it in 1993. Copies of that CD go for about $36.00 on average on E-bay. Since I don't even like the song, I have been reluctant to shell out the $36 bucks for a used CD. I do watch out for it though and a few weeks back some sucker posted an original copy of the CD for $15.99 Buy-It-Now. Needless to say, I struck like lightning. I was thrilled when I got the CD in the mail a few days later. It is in absolutely great condition.

But, alas, that meant M and I actually had to listen to the thing. For those who don't remember, the CD has two charity songs (“We Are the World” and the Canadian charity single “Tears Are Not Enough”) and 8 tracks by well-known artists of the day. These 8 tracks are mostly cast-off songs that were probably just lying around. I don't think any of the artists actually wrote the songs specifically for the album. In any case, the two charity songs are incredibly painful, though the Canadian song stands up slightly better. These songs are schmaltzy under the best of circumstances. You'd think a group of artists of that caliber could have come up with something a little more subtle and timeless. I remember watching MTV when the video premiered. My entire family watched it together - it was quite an event! We hadn't yet heard the song and didn't even know which singers had participated. We spent the entire time going, “oh look, there's Diana Ross…now there's Huey Lewis…etc”. Of course, MTV played the video ad nauseam for the next few weeks so I got to know both the song and video quite well (too well, in fact!) My favorite part was always when Cyndi Lauper sings her verse. She adds some flair to the whole thing - one of the few artists to really distinguish themselves in the song.

For the remainder of the songs, most of these went by blissfully fast. They're just innocuous songs that don't really register. However, I do like Tina Turner's “Total Control” and Bruce Springsteen's live version of “Trapped” enough to add both to my list.

For those of you out there that might have a copy of this CD, keep it in good shape and it'll be worth good money down the line. The LP and 45 (both of which I've had since they were released in 1986) are doing quite well on E-bay as well. I don't intend to part with my copies anytime soon but it's nice to know that at least one thing in my vast collection has some value!

List Counter: M-85; me-142

Current Mood: impressed
Current Music: I Won't Stand In Your Way - The Stray Cats

Constant(ine) Craving
For some reason I have Paula Cole's “Where Have All the Cowboys Gone” stuck in my head tonight. Egads - I hate that song! I've sort of edited in my head though and I keep hearing it as “Where Have All the Marios Gone”. Dang that Mario, he left me high and dry man, leaving AI all sudden-like and then refusing to give a reason why even as he simultaneously appears on every crap entertainment news show known to man. Dude, if you really left the show for “personal reasons”, then go attend to them and get your mug off my TV!! I wish he hadn't left but now that he is gone, I would just as soon prefer that he remain gone, that's all I'm sayin'!

That said, the top 12 attempted to inspire the huddled masses tonight and, by and large, failed miserably. Herewith, the breakdown:

Jessica: She got things off to a bumpy start with a tepid rendition of “Shop Around”. She has grown on me these past few weeks though and she clearly has the ability to actually sing. Boring but not a deal-breaker. B-

Anwar: The judges seemed uninspired by his quiet take on “A House Is Not A Home” but he is probably the best singer in the competition and they should have noted that any song written by Burt Bacharach is always more challenging to sing than your standard fair. B

Mikalah: She is my Sally Field - I just really, really want to like her. But I have to face the fact that she is just not a very strong singer. She has personality and charisma to spare though and that alone should keep her around just a smidge longer. C-

Constantine: He's the male version of Mikalah - A+ on the charm and personality; C- on the actual singing ability. That said, he pulled off his song (“You've Made Me So Very Happy”) much better than Mikalah did this week. C+

Lindsay: Booooooooring. I've given up hope on her. I've never seen a more listless version of “Knock on Wood” and she seemed to have a lot of trouble keeping pace with the music. D

Anthony: Somewhere Neil Sedaka is very, very sorry that he ever wrote “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do”. D

Nadia: Once again, our lady Nadia comes along and saves the show. She looked fabulous and she jolted the show to life with a heartfelt version of “You Don't Have To Say You Love Me”. She is one of the singers on this show that actually has somewhat limited singing range but she almost always plays to her strengths and is a born performer. A

Bo: Rocker Bo continues to mop the floor with poser rocker Constantine. They both sang Blood, Sweat and Tears songs (Bo's was “Spinning Wheel”) but only Bo's actually rocked. A-

Vonzell: Another one to tackle a difficult Burt Bacharach song (“Anyone Who Had A Heart”). It wasn't bowl-you-over wonderful but, much like her over-all look tonight, it was classy and sweet. B

Scott: Rockin' the suede, dude! I remain uninspired by him even if he is one of the better singers. B-

Carrie: She just cannot get a break from these judges. First they tell her not to stray from the country arena and then, after she gives a country-fied reading of “When Will I Be Loved”, they tell her she doesn't take enough risk. Make up your minds people! The song may not have been clean all the way through but I enjoyed it. B-

Nikko: Does this guy have any range beyond the early 70's soul stuff?? I wanted to see him make good use of the opportunity that was given him after he was brought back to replace the suddenly departed Mario but his performance of “I Want You Back” was messy and unmemorable. C

It's hard to say who will be eliminated this week. There is potential for Anthony, Nikko and Mikalah to be kicked off but, in the end, my bet is that this is Lindsay's swan song.

**
This is going to be a quick CD review: Marc Almond's “Open All Night”. Marc is better known as one half of 80's new-wave group Soft Cell, who gave us one of the best songs of all time in “Tainted Love”. “Open All Night” is one of the handful of albums that M brought with him into our relationship but he swears it was just a free copy that he picked up at one of his jobs when he was in school. Hmmm…likely story. The entire album is all very torchy and moody and neither us found anything overly appealing about it, nor is there anything massively unappealing. It just sort of is. Not surprisingly, neither of us chose any of the songs for our lists. But, be rest assured that “Tainted Love” will be near the top of both of our lists!

PS: Thanks to M and Spazzer for providing a nice ending to a rather depressing day. That seems to be the theme this year - be prepared for yours, Spazzie! Ah, the healing powers of Cold Stone!

List Counter: M-85; me-140

Current Mood: full
Current Music: Giving Him Something He Can Feel - En Vogue

Let 'Em Eat Cake
In my last journal I mentioned the vision in pink Barbie cake that we had for M's birthday. What I didn't mention was that it was quite a large cake - we could have fed at least 20 people with that thing. But, despite the fact that I did invite some of his (very lame, it turns out) co-workers to the party, it was just M, Spazzer and myself. M got home from work the next day and decided it was time to dismantle the cake and bring it in to work (I always say, let your co-workers get fat and spare yourself the extra poundage!) Naturally, this meant also getting the Barbie out from the middle of the cake. M very carefully scrubbed Barbie clean (that dirty cake whore!) and put her tutu back on (she's called “Beautiful Ballerina Barbie”). He then proceeded to pimp, I mean, primp her for a few minutes. He had told Spazzer and I the previous night that he was always upset that he was never allowed to have a Barbie as a kid so I decided, OK, let him have his fun. The night goes on, we watch a bit of TV, all is well in the land.

Then I remembered that I wanted to read him my journal entry (M apparently likes it when I read the entries to him - he never reads them on his own) so he sat on the coach while I started reading. And out of the corner of my eye, I notice that he has the Barbie in one hand and a tube of styling gel in the other. WTF????? He is styling Barbie's hair with actual hair gel?????? And he is so deeply engrossed in this mission to give Barbie the best hairstyle she has ever had. The whole thing is really too amusing for words. But everyone else be forewarned - if you ever visit with children and they have Barbies of their own, don't expect M to play nice! He will take that Barbie, make it as beautiful and glamorous as it can possibly be and then it becomes a thing to be admired but most definitely not played with! You do not touch the glamour Barbies!

**

I was loading up my iPod with more number one songs last night - specifically songs from 1975-1979. I was 5 in 1977, which is when the first songs I remember hearing (and loving) were popular. My mother always took my sister and I on her daily errands and she always had the radio on. Those songs that I heard in the car back then are forever hard-wired into my brain and seared into my heart. It's a long list but includes ELO's “Don't Bring Me Down”, Little River Band's “Lonesome Loser”, Robert John's “Sad Eyes”, Olivia Newton-John's “Hopelessly Devoted To You”, the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band's “An American Dream” and Exile's “Kiss You All Over”. This stuff still brings a smile to my face, almost 30 years later, and I never go for long without delving into my collection to listen to them again. And that's the beauty of the iPod - it's all now in one place with very easy access.

As I was loading songs though, a realization dawned on me. Being deaf, I cannot make out the lyrics to anything. I make up my own lyrics or maybe start to piece the lyrics together after repeated listening. These days, I look up the lyrics on the net (if they aren't provided in the CD booklet) but back in the 70's, I did not have such resources at hand. It's funny the little things we remember (although I have been told my memory is a lot better and more detailed than the average person's) but I can clearly remember hearing “Whenever I Call You Friend” and “Kiss You All Over” and asking my mother, what the heck are they singing? And sometimes she would tell me but other times she would just say she couldn't figure it out either. Now I am listening to these songs again and I'm thinking, maybe she didn't want me to know what the lyrics are. These days we're used to hearing 50 Cent rap about how he will take you to the candy shop and let you lick the lollipop (gee 50, whatever could that mean? not real subtle there, guy) but 70's music still was a little risqué. Was my mother protecting my delicate ears or did she really not know what the words were? It's funny that it never occurred to me before. It doesn't have any consequence really, just a thought that popped into my head after all these years!

**

The next CD up for review is “Ultimate Divas” - a collection of songs by the “divas” of the past 60 years. This CD definitely gave rise to some debate while we were listening to it.

Debate 1: do all the women on the CD qualify as divas? Judy Garland, Diana Ross, Patti LaBelle, Whitney Houston, Aretha Franklin - divas all. But Toni Braxton? Annie Lennox? They may be good singers but I never really saw them as divas. We agreed that Mary J Blige is a diva-in-waiting. But then really, what is a diva? To me a diva is more than just a great singer. A diva is a larger than life personality, a force of nature. Gladys Knight - I love her and she's a great singer but she seems like maybe she's too nice to be a diva.

Debate 2: are the songs chosen for each singer really representative of the “ultimate” that the singer has to offer? “Over the Rainbow” is the quintessential Judy Garland song, no doubt. “I Have Nothing” may not be Whitney's most popular song (that could only be “I Will Always Love You”) but it still is a song that shows off her power as a singer. But then they saddle Patti LaBelle with “If Only You Knew” which wouldn't even rank in the top 10 of all her hits (couldn't they get “Lady Marmalade” or “New Attitude”??). And the fierce Chaka Khan is represented with “My Funny Valentine”, which is a song M happens to love, but even he agreed that it should have been “I Feel For You”, “Tell Me Something Good” or even “Ain't Nobody”.

So, props to the CD for generating such discussions. But I still have to deduct points for poor song selection. That said, M chose “Over the Rainbow”, Ella Fitzgerald's “Someone To Watch Over Me” and Chaka's “My Funny Valentine” for his list. I went more modern, choosing Whitney's “I Have Nothing” (definitely one of her 5 best songs) and Mary J's “Not Gon' Cry”.

And I can't close without mentioning that the CD also contains one of my least favorite songs of all time: Toni Braxton's “Un-Break My Heart”. Man, this song was number one for 11 weeks so obviously someone likes it but I just cannot take this song. The grammar alone drives me insane. “Un-Break” is not a word and it never will be, despite Toni's best efforts. She starts the song with “don't leave me in all this pain…” at which point I can only say “amen, sister” and skip to the next song!

List Counter: M-85; me-140

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Long, Long Time - Linda Ronstadt

C'Mon Barbie, Let's Go Party
Once again, the American Idol boys outshone the AI girls this week. It's really too bad that 2 guys and 2 girls have to go tomorrow - would be so much better if we could just get rid of 4 of the girls. As for the 4 who got kicked off last week (Joseph, David, Celena, and Aloha), I got no complaints. They were all bound to go in these next few weeks anyway. As we head toward the final 12, who has the chops to make it?

Scott: The white boy with the soulful voice finally decides to go uptempo and also bust out some dance moves. Too bad said moves were from the 60's. In fact, they were the same exact moves the Four Tops used when they sang “I Can't Help Myself”. I still think Scott has a very good voice but he is rather bland performance-wise. He might be going this week.

Bo: Simon says it's his competition to lose and I agree. His version of “I'll Be” was far better than the judges gave him credit for. He'll definitely make the top 12.

Anthony: Props for not only breaking away from all the ballads he favors but also for finding an uptempo song that showed his power vocals (Marc Anthony's “I've Got You”). He was fantastic - he should be able to squeak into the top 12.

Nikko: He's from St. Louis so naturally Simon wanted to know why he sang “Georgia On My Mind”. Remember contestants, you are allowed to sing geographical songs only if you are from said area. Whatever! Nikko managed to hit the notes at the end of the song but the beginning was rocky. If he makes the top 12, I don't expect him to make it much further than that.

Travis: Please just go away.

Mario: He finally took his hat off but the Justin Guarini with better hair resemblance scared me so he needs to take a page from Tom Jones and remember “you can leave your hat on…” His performance of “How Can You Mend a Broken Heart” was awesome though! Another shoo-in for the top 12.

Constantine: I am warming to this guy slightly. “Every Little Thing She Does is Magic” was the perfect song choice for him. He is not (and never will be) a good singer, from a technical standpoint. But there is no denying that he is comfortable on the stage and has some sort of weird charisma. He'll probably make the top 12.

Anwar: A classy singer who takes risks and sings so incredibly well. I keep saying that he skews too “old” for this show but he keeps making it through. I hope that he continues to do so - I would love to see him make the top 3.

Amanda: She took on “River Deep, Mountain High” and failed. That's what you get for messing with Soul Diva #1 (Miss Tina Turner)! If Amanda makes the top 12, it would be a shame but she might just pull it off in this group of lackluster women.

Janay: Why are you still here? Why? What have we done to deserve this?

Carrie: She's losing a bit of the luster she had early on but she can clearly sing and, in a very weak group, will definitely make the top 12.

Vonzell: Another one who foolishly messes with a soul diva (in this case, Aretha's “Respect”). I really want to like her but she doesn't show signs of being much of a singer. I wouldn't be surprised if she were eliminated this week but she might be able to squeak into the top 12.

Nadia: Definitely my favorite of the women. She has given two of the best performances in the women's group, including this week's rockin' and soulful “Try A Little Tenderness”. If she doesn't make the top 12, it would be a crime.

Lindsay: Oy, do I hate that stupid Aerosmith song (“I Don't Want To Miss A Thing”). She is a rather bland singer but at least the song showed off her smoky voice. She might make the top 12 but is unlikely to stay around much longer after that.

Mikalah: Oh dear, she really messed up this week. She seems to be trying too hard to hide her fun-to-some-but-annoying-to-others personality. Hopefully she has enough good will left over from last week's incredible performance to make the top 12.

Jessica: I haven't been a fan of hers these past few weeks but her version of “The Boys Are Back in Town” was certainly fun tonight. It should translate into a spot in the top 12 for her.

My picks to go this week: Travis, Scott, Amanda and Janay.

**
Today was M's birthday so Spazzer and I decided to give him the Barbie birthday he's always wanted! The centerpiece was a cake built around an actual Barbie doll, I kid you not. We went out last week and bought a 50's looking Barbie at Target and the local bakery built a cake around her to look like a poodle skirt, complete with pink frosting. Really, it was a work of art and it was almost a shame to have to cut into it! Of course, we took lots of pictures of it first. The cake itself was quite delicious but there was so much frosting that it took only a few minutes for an intense sugar high to kick in. Ugh…no more cake for me! Anyway, I sure do hope my man appreciates that I indulge his Barbie love even though I think Barbie is an evil, evil toy that messes with little girl's minds! Not to mention that I braved going into a bakery to order the thing in the first place. The woman I ordered the cake from decided to adopt a “don't ask, don't tell” policy when she realized I was ordering it for a guy. I know San Francisco spoiled me but this is still a fairly cosmopolitan city and the bakery is mere minutes from the gay ghetto. Surely, this can't be the first time they were making a Barbie cake for a guy???

**
Next up all the CD list: the self-titled debut album from early 90's boy group All-4-One. Add this one to a growing list of “why did I buy this anyway?” Their big hit was “I Swear” which hit number one and stayed there for 11 weeks. It was later (poorly) remade by some country yahoo - John Michael Montgomery, I think. The favor was returned when they remade his “I Can Love You Like That”. In any case, other than a passable remake of “So Much In Love”, “I Swear” is the only song on the album that is any good and, if I must be honest, I do like the song enough to add it to my Top 1000 list. It's kind of schmaltzy but I always find myself singing along with it whenever I hear it.

Happy Birthday M! Hope all your Barbie dreams come true!

List Counter: M-82; me-138

Current Mood: giddy
Current Music: Aqua's "Barbie Girl", what else?

Keys Please
American Idol Semi-Final Week 2 and, really, the guys have it all over the girls. There are 1 or 2 weak guys, several who are good and about 3 who have already leaped ahead of the pack. But the girls, oy…it's impossible to decide who is more deserving of being eliminated first. But before recapping this weeks performances, a comment (or two) on last weeks elims: yes, Sarah, Melinda and Jared definitely deserved to go; Judd, not so much. I am very disappointed he was eliminated as he was one of my 6 original picks to make the top 12. And while I know that the losing contestants are always asked to sing one last time, it seemed really silly and cruel last week - hey, let's hear that performance that got you eliminated once again. You would think the contestants would give it their all - after all, it is their one last chance to impress someone who may be watching re: further singing opportunities. But Melinda and Jared couldn't seem to handle it at all - choosing to weep through most of their song. Sarah just gave up completely and turned in the most listless version of any song I have ever heard. Only my man Judd was able to come through (more proof that he shouldn't have been eliminated in the first place but oh well…) Who from this week will follow in the footsteps of the first four eliminated?

Mario: Hey, he loves music! Good for him! He's a born performer anyway and I really like him. The Idol message boards are all atwitter as to whether he is gay or not. Why oh why does that even matter? I swear this country is regressing very rapidly.

Anwar: Last week it was all Stevie Wonder, all the time. This week the soulsters decided to try out Marvin Gaye. Anwar sang “What's Going On” and he is, technically, a very good singer. But I fear he skews too old and the younger Idol voters will not appreciate his more nuanced approach to singing.

Joseph: Not a bad singer but his performance style is very boring, rendering him ultimately unmemorable.

David: One of four guys that are really hitting the soul angle (along w/Anwar, Travis and Nikko). He sang yet another Stevie song and was OK. David is younger and marginally cuter so he may outlast Travis and Nikko but it's anyone's guess. Of the four, only Anwar manages to distinguish himself.

Constantine: One of two rockers and he sucks! His voice is just too bizarre for me. He is unexplicably popular on the message boards though (and Jen likes him too). I say he is neither sexy (he has two chins people!) nor a good singer but based on his weird popularity he'll probably be around a while longer.

Scott: Last week I said he sounds just like Luther Vandross and this week he proved my point by singing “Never Too Much”. He actually has a great voice but he has zero stage presence and does not want to seem to take any risks in song selection. Flying under the radar is not going to work in this group of guys - he should be gone in the next few weeks.

Travis: Hey, check out those dance moves. Unfortunately though, they did not distract from a really cheesy version of “All Night Long”.

Nikko: Marvin Gaye, version 2. Actually “Let's Get It On” is kind of a risky song choice for AI, so props for that.

Anthony: He's sticking with the ballads but at least this week he chose one that showed off his powerhouse voice (“I Want to Know What Love Is”). I'd like to see him try something uptempo though.

Bo: The second rocker and current front-runner of all the singers in the competition. Where Constantine seems to be something of a poseur rocker, Bo is the real thing and he has a great, strong voice. But how will he do when they get to disco week or something else of that ilk?

Aloha: One of two girls to absolutely slaughter poor Alicia Keys numbers this week. She was so good last week too. Hopefully she gets another chance.

Lindsay: OK, she tried uptempo this week and the country-influenced song definitely showed off her voice to better effect but she still hasn't lived up to her early promise.

Jessica: The judges keep praising this girl to the sky but I truly don't get it. She is merely adequate and her song (“With a Broken Wing”) was sung a million times better by Diana DeGarmo last season.

Mikalah: She thankfully toned down her whole outsize personality this week and proved that she definitely has the chops to make it. Her version of “God Bless The Child” was probably the best performance yet. She is 100% comfortable on the stage and she's only 17. She should go far.

Celena: Bye, bye honey!

Nadia: From last week's rocking performance to this week's truly bizarre “My Love” - what on earth happened??

Amanda: Another one the judges loved that I just can't understand. She is a little too old for this show and her performances reek of karaoke.

Janay: The judges hated it and, truthfully, it was kind of pitiable but she deserves a tiny bit of credit for singing a song that is actually current (at least in terms of this show).

Carrie: After praising her to the sky last week, the judges were decidedly unconvinced this week but I thought her version of “Piece of My Heart” was actually quite good. I hadn't really noticed her before but I like her a lot more now.

Vonzell: Alicia Keys destroyer number 2. Her version of “If I Ain't Got You” was truly dreadful.

My picks for the 4 who will probably go this week: Joseph, Travis, Celena and Janay.

**
Last night's entry reviewed “The Ultimate Grammy Box Set” discs 1 and 2. Tonight, discs 3 and 4.

Disc 3: Definitely the best disc in the set. M and I both loved hearing (and singing along to) Buddy Holly's hicuppy “Peggy Sue” and Al Green's soul classic “Let's Stay Together”. M also selected Annie Lennox's “No More 'I Love You's'”, LeAnn Rimes' “Blue” and Earth Wind and Fire's “Shining Star”.

Disc 4: This disc veered a little too heavily toward adult contemporary, like Michael Bolton's headache-inducing “How Am I Supposed to Live Without You” and Dionne and Friend's insufferable “That's What Friends Are For”. But the non-AC numbers were much better. M picked Sheryl Crow's “All I Wanna Do” and Stan Getz's “Girl From Ipanema”. We both picked Bonnie Raitt's heartbreaking “I Can't Make You Love Me” and Gladys Knight & The Pips “Midnight Train to Georgia”. I love Gladys Knight - she is totally underrated as a singer and “Midnight Train” is one of the best songs ever released. How can you not like it, really? “All aboard, all aboard the midnight train to Georgia…”

All in all, a great box set. Thanks Spazzer!

List Counter: M-82; me-137

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: Rapture - Blondie

Between Chris Rock and a Tired Place
Geez, the Oscar's were so boring this year. The whole thing was thoroughly predictable, winners and all. It's too bad because we always look forward to it - we call it “the gay Super Bowl” just to give all you straight types out there a frame of reference. I have no use for football but I'll take a show all about honoring movies (with glamorous fashion mixed in) any day! But this year, there were no major fashion faux pas (where is Bjork when you need her?), no one came from behind to win an award unexpectedly (where is Marisa Tomei when you need her?), and there was no on-stage drama of any sort (where is Marlon Brando when you need him? Um…never mind, he's dead). Herewith a few awards of my own:

Best Recycled Speech: Jamie Foxx. Geez man, you just had to do the whole Ray Charles call and answer thing again, didn't you? Repeat after me, Jamie: “I am not actually Ray Charles”. And the whole thing with his grandmother is sweet (um, except for the part where she beat him repeatedly as a child). But dang, we have heard all this a million times already this year at countless other award shows. But even with all this, Jamie's acceptance was just about the only interesting speech given all night long. I still wish Johnny Depp had won though.

Best Use of Eye Shadow: Beyonce. She sang three times, each time with a whole new dress and make-up job and, great god almighty, how could you miss all that eye shadow she was packing? I think there will be a severe eye shadow shortage in LA for the next few weeks. But at least she provided a great focal point since the incredibly boring songs she was saddled with certainly weren't going to do the trick.

Best Reason To Be Married to Chad Lowe: Even though Hilary Swank's acceptance speech was incredibly disorganized and not at all sentimental or emotional, Chad dutifully cried throughout the speech.

Best Reason To Bring Back Streaking: In these uptight, repressive times, nothing could excite the nation like some good old-fashioned streaking. I mean, frankly, the religious right has done such a good job scaring everyone into blind obedience (sex and bad language are big no-no's; violence is still fine) but what will they have to complain about if no one is going to flash their boobies on TV?

Best Reason To Be Vanessa Paradis: She's married to Johnny Depp, duh!

Best Acceptance Speech (Sung): The guy who won Best Song, who was clearly miffed that Carlos Santana and Antonio Banderas ruined his song. Instead of thanking anyone, he showed us all how the song really should be sung.

Best Sense of Humor: Tim Robbins, who laughed when Chris Rock introduced him with “if he's not dazzling us with his acting abilities, he's boring us to death with his politics”.

Worst Sense of Humor: Sean Penn, continuing his dour act by defending Jude Law. Jude was probably more embarrassed by Sean's defense than the Chris Rock “jokes” that started the whole thing.

Most in Need Of A Queer Eye Make-Over: Robin Williams. Not only does his wardrobe need a make-over but his act does as well. I'm all in favor of Robin making fun of the religious nut cases who routinely accuse cartoon characters of being homosexual but I am just so tired of his played out, manic shtick.

Winner Of The Dead People Montage: Marlon Brando, who definitely got the highest level of clapping/cheering during the roll call of people who died last year.

Best Indication of Arnold Schwarzenegger's Future: Ronald Reagan, who received a surprisingly tepid audience reaction when he was featured in the dead people montage.

Best Reason To Revive Bert Parks: The idea of having all the nominees in the “lesser” categories line-up on stage, beauty pageant style, was incredibly lame. All that was missing was a rousing chorus of “There She Is…” as the winner strode over to receive their award.

Best Analogy: Chris Rock's comparison of George Bush's record with that of a Gap employee. Freakin' hilarious. Overall, Rock was a nice change of pace for the Oscar's but I still think he could've done better. He may have gotten the show finished in record time but it was so boring it felt just as long as it usually is anyway.

Best Use of Miracle Gro: The models who assisted in handing out the awards were all incredibly tall. Or are all the actors just really short?

Most Deserving Winner: Morgan Freeman, who finally got the Oscar he should have won years ago for “The Shawshank Redemption”.

Best Night's Sleep: M, who couldn't even make it through the entire thing without falling asleep! He made a valiant attempt though!

**
Moving from one award show to another, next in the list of “Ultimate” CD's is “The Ultimate Grammy Box Set”. Spazzer gave me this one for Christmas a few years back and I love it because it has a nice variety of music - songs from the 50's to the late 90's, spanning genres from country to pop to jazz. Plus, all the songs have been Grammy nominated so you are getting (mostly) high quality songs. I'll take on the first two discs of the set this time around and save the other two for the next entry.

Disc One: We both agreed on “Good Vibrations”, one of those timeless songs, probably because it was so far ahead of its time, technically speaking. M chose Billie Holiday's “God Bless the Child”, Duke Ellington's “Take the A Train” and Aretha Franklin's “Respect”. The last song was something of a dilemma for me because, let's face it, it's probably one of the best known songs ever. I do like it but I'm also tired of hearing it. There are many other Aretha songs that I vastly prefer and so, I decided not to add “Respect” to my own list. For my part, I chose Whitney's somewhat dated (but I still love it anyway) “I Wanna Dance w/Somebody Who Loves Me”, Billy Joel's “Just the Way You Are” (which Billy himself hates, calling it a cheesy wedding song), Tony Bennett's “I Left My Heart in San Francisco” (my theme song!) and Willie Nelson's “Always On My Mind”. The last one is a true classic and a great favorite of mine. I think anyone can relate to the lyrics at one point or another in their lives and Willie has the perfect heartfelt, rueful tone to pull the whole song off.

Disc Two: M and I enjoyed this disc the least out of the four we listened to. It's hard to believe the supremely annoying “Don't Worry, Be Happy” (Bobby McFerrin) was ever nominated for a Grammy, but there it is. It was a number one song too. I remember liking it when it was popular but, as with many novelty songs, you find yourself really questioning your judgement years down the line. The disc also has Celine's over-played “My Heart Will Go On” and two very, very long songs in Miles Davis' “Blues for Pablo” and Bob Dylan's “Cold Irons Bound”. Talented as Miles and Bob may be, I have never been a fan of either and find that they need to be taken in very measured doses.

But I did find the love for the always funky “Tell Me Something Good” by Rufus w/Chaka Khan (love that wacka wacka bass line) and the fifties throwback “Just Like Starting Over” by John Lennon. M chose Patsy Cline's “Crazy” and Shawn Colvin's “Sunny Came Home”.

Great stuff! And we had a great time singing along with it all in the car! And the best disc (disc three) was still to come.

List Counter: M-73; me-133

Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: Sunday Bloody Sunday - U2

What? No "You Are the Sunshine Of My Life"????
For the next few months, every Tuesday night is going to be “American Idol” night. Don't say I didn't warn you! This week we start off with 24 singers - 4 of whom will not be back next week. Herewith, my (humble) estimation of how they did:

Nikko: uh-oh, one day later and I already forgot what he looks like. I know he sang “Part-Time Lover”, one of way too many Stevie Wonder interpretations done on this show these days. He was good but the fact that I can't remember what he looks like does not bode well.

Scott: he sounds like Luther Vandross and Ruben Studdard (who mined the Luther thing during the second season) but “You Are My Lady” was a poor choice of song and, hopefully, it will get him eliminated this week.

Anthony: I was really hoping he would do better. He has a great voice but chose a very boring ballad, something many of the contestants fell prey to.

Bo: Thanks for finally waking us up, dude! I like this guy - he did a great job with “Drift Away” and it would be great to see one of these rocker dudes win the whole thing.

Travis: Another Stevie song. Drifting back to sleep…

Constantine: I hate “Kiss From a Rose” - one of my least favorite songs ever. And he has a weird voice but seems to have the support of the audience. Is it me or did he used to be the lead singer for Creed??

David: “Never Can Say Goodbye.” Actually, I'm saying it now: goodbye. You are the weakest link.

Jared: “How Could I Say Goodbye.” Don't know but you will be saying it very soon. He is definitely going home Wed. night.

Anwar: Taking a page from Fantasia's “Summertime” book and dusting off an old-time ballad (“Moon River”) and singing it like it's never gone out of style. Very nice!

Judd: I love this guy. OK, he was a little bit manic (shades of the loathsome JPL from last season?) but he's fun where all the others are boring and he has a great bluesy voice.

Joseph: Yes, “How Am I Supposed to Live Without You” is a hard song to sing and he came off well but it was still boring.

Mario: Another energetic performance, even if he did do the Stevie thing as well (“Do I Do”). He has a good voice and strong stage presence - he will do well.

Now, you would think the women would have learned something from watching the men (ie: avoid those ballads) but noooooo…

Vonzell: She has a great voice and started the show off with a nice uptempo number but she apparently doesn't know her “Idol” history. “Heat Wave” is the kiss of death - at least two other contestants have been eliminated in the past immediately after singing this song.

Amanda: Rendition number two of “How Am I Supposed to Live Without You.” This song does not get any better with repeated listening.

Janay: Ugh, anyone who sings Jessica Simpson needs to be eliminated pronto. She was nervous and though the judges made sure to sing her praises, she is in danger of being too unmemorable to make it much further.

Carrie: Another freakin' ballad (“Could've Been”) but to her credit, she amped up the power and hit those notes (the last one was a little sketchy, though).

Sarah: Tried to wake the audience with “Get Ready” but didn't really seem to have much stage presence.

Melinda: This one was dreadful. She seemed to be all over the place vocally and also seemed very unsure of how to work the stage. “The Power of Love” will get this chicky nowhere.

Nadia: Woo-hoo - a rocker chick comes along and just rocks the whole place out. I don't know the name of the song she sang but, like Melinda before her, it was all about the power of love. Unlike, Melinda though, she should go far.

Celena: Wasn't bad, wasn't great. Can't really think of anything to recommend her.

Mikalah: Ah, the controversial one. Personally, I like her weird voice, her Long Island accent, and her out there personality. But yeah, just as many people are going to find her annoying. At least she has a personality - something many of the other contestants seem to be lacking.

Lindsay: Why, why, why must we suffer through all these colorless ballads???? She has such a great, smoky voice but you couldn't tell tonight. Hopefully she survives this week and gets another chance to prove herself.

Jessica: Yeah honey, it really is “Against All Odds” that you will be very successful in this competition.

Aloha: She sang “Work It Out” and boy did she ever. You go girl!

All in all, the guys were much better than the girls. As for the judges, I'm already tired of Randy saying “I don't know, man, it was just ai-ight for me” and Paula seems to have run to the bottom of her positive comments repertoire (already?) because she keeps saying “but you look good though”. Simon is the only one with original things to say, though he went way too far with the “I'd like to be your microphone” comment - sleazy! Hopefully the comments will become more constructive as the competition moves forward.

**
When M came back from a business trip to Sweden a few months back, he brought me a present: a CD by the biggest act in all of Sweden: Alcazar. Yeah, I never heard of them before either! But I was intrigued by the liner notes, in which they thank all their fans for helping them to reach disco heaven. I ask you, what kind of heaven could possibly be better than disco heaven? On second thought, don't answer that.

In any case, this is pure Swedish pop in the mold of ABBA and Ace of Base, all set to thumping disco beats. They also sample other pop songs quite liberally. This is not music that is going to change the world but it is fun. I'll take fun. M, being far more of a club kid than I (which is not saying much, really), likes this album a lot more than I do. In fact, he picked 5 songs off the album for his list: “Lovelife”, “Start the Fire”, “Shine On”, “Not a Sinner, Nor a Saint”, and a very faithful remake of Human League's “Don't You Want Me”. I picked “Save My Pride”. We both chose “Someday” and “This is the World” which heavily samples Genesis' “Land of Confusion”, of all songs.

While I assumed that Alcazar would remain a European phenomenon, lately I have been hearing them around here, especially in stores like HMV (which, is of course, a Scandanavian store). Better watch out - disco heaven is coming to claim the States. I can only imagine that they let gays get married in disco heaven, so I'm all for it!

List Counter: M-67; me-126

Current Mood: bored
Current Music: Sister Christian - Night Ranger

The Cupcake Kid
So, this past Monday was Valentine's Day. It's also my sister's birthday so I always treated it like it's her day and consequently, the Valentine's portion of the day doesn't really mean that much to me. Besides, I really do think that if you love and appreciate someone, then you really should have the originality and/or creativity to show your love on some other day of the year, when it is unexpected and likely to be appreciated more.

That said, I do not have a heart of stone, contrary to popular opinion. I decided I was going to make M a nice dinner, all from scratch. The thing is, I don't really cook. I'm good with deserts and sometimes even appetizers but main courses, not so much. But I had some new cookbooks handy and nice fresh ingredients from Whole Foods (love, love, love that store!) and I was ready to give it a try. The main course was Chicken Tortilla Soup and, despite a very long prep time, it came out wonderfully. I didn't even have to cook the Cuban Chicken that I had bought as a back-up in case the soup failed.

But the real reason for this story is the cupcakes. I really think that cupcakes in general are these perfect little creations. You got your tiny portion of cake topped off with yummy frosting. What's not to like? There is a restaurant in San Anselmo, CA called Picnics that my former (and much beloved and missed) co-workers introduced me to and they made these absolutely incredible chocolate cupcakes with cream cheese frosting that were so good, honestly, they deserved their own parade. They also have really good Asian Chicken Salad but that's for another time! Anyway, I have been missing those cupcakes something fierce and a couple of weeks ago I turned to M and said, “I am going to learn how to make really good cupcakes; so good that I will become renowned for them.” My first attempt (um, if you don't count the ones I made out of a box a few weeks back) and I hit the thing out of the park. Chocolate Buttermilk Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting, equal to, if not better than, the Picnics version. M really liked them too - you'll just have to take my word for it! I even decorated them with red Hershey kisses and pink sprinkles. Unfortunately, we realized we couldn't eat them all, much as we wanted to (and could have). Our newfound resolve to go to the gym more often is defeated by such small things as harmless looking cupcakes and so M took the bulk of them to work and let his co-workers get fat instead!

************************************
Finally, we have the 24 finalists for American Idol. Oh, I plan to talk about this show a lot in the upcoming weeks so be prepared! Right now, I will only say that I do have a few early favorites.

For the guys, Mario Vasquez has a real sweet, soulful voice, Judd Harris stands out after his fun, cool versions of “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” and “Mustang Sally” in the audition rounds, and Anthony Federov (Clay 2.0) has a powerful voice and non-threatening good/geeky looks that guarantee him lots of teenage girl votes. I decidedly do not like Scott Savol because he has a huge ego and is really not very pleasant to look at (uh-oh, that was a Simon comment).

For the women, Mikalah Gordon has a sassy attitude that I find endearing but I'm not totally sold on her voice yet, Vonzell Solomon has a great Aretha voice but needs to cut down on the neon colored clothing, and Lindsay Cardinale has a rich, smoky voice that should take her far. So, that's 6 picks - let's see how many of them make into the top 12.

************************************
The next CD up for review is “Ultimate New Wave Party 1998”. Kind of a misleading title since, of course, new wave is associated with the early 80's. 1998 was the year the CD was released but rest assured, it's all the good 80's new wave songs that we love and remember.

M and I both picked the prom staple “What I Like About You” (The Romantics), Haircut 100's “Love Plus One” and the hooky “I Melt With You” (Modern English). Oh, that Burger King hadn't sullied my love of that last song with those stupid ads they used to do! We both also chose Billy Idol's “Dancing with Myself”. Ah, how we both love Billy Idol. I had posters of him all over my room when I was younger. Even as a teen, I loved me a bad boy (so how did I end with M anyway??) As for the song, that was one of the songs MTV played endlessly in the early days and it will always be one of my favorites.

I also picked “I Ran (So Far Away)” by A Flock of Seagulls (loved their hair!). For his part, M picked “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” (Eurythmics), “Rock Lobster” (B-52's), “Our House” (Madness) and “In the Name of Love” (Thompson Twins).

Long live new wave!

List Counter: M-60; me-123

Current Mood: jubilant
Current Music: When Will I See You Again - The Three Degrees

It Ain't Your Granny's Grammy's
Honestly, I never know who reads these journals. But I do know two people who I can rely on to read and post some comments - and they are forever endeared to my heart for it! And tonight, one of them has given me a great idea for a topic - the Grammys.

Why I didn't think of this myself, I don't know. After all, I'll watch any awards show that comes on (except, the People's Choice Awards - I've always felt that "the people" don't really know what they're talking about!) But my favorites are the Oscars and the Grammys. The Grammys have gotten a reputation for being staid and boring (both in presentation and nominations). But I've noticed over the past few years that they really have tried to shake things up. Let's face it - the nominations will always be somewhat questionable but they have tried hard to up their street cred (see the multiple Kanye West and Green Day noms this year). And the actual show has greatly improved. They encourage unusual collaborations that you wouldn't see anywhere else, and while it doesn't always work, it's at least something different. Plus, they don't even waste that much time anymore on the actual presentation of awards, in favor of more live performances.

Bono said at one point during this year's show that it was the best one he ever saw and I have to agree. The five stage performance that started off the show was fun, even if it did devolve into a cacaphonous shouting match by the end. It might not have been that creative to have the Black Eyed Peas start off the show with "Let's Get It Started in Here" but I will forgive it since the song totally and truly rules! My favorite performance of the night was Alicia Keys "If I Ain't Got You" - a great song made all the better by the backing orchestra and her powerful singing. And I was very happy to see her reclaim her song after it has been butchered in numerous "American Idol" auditions these past few weeks. I also loved watching a bald (and brave) Melissa Etheridge tearing into "Piece of My Heart". She never gets the credit she deserves - it was nice to see her get a standing ovation for a gutsy, scorching performance. I also have to give props to a band I have been growing to like more and more over the years - Green Day. OK fine, so they aren't really punk rock any more. They still rock harder and with more passion than crappy bands like Hoobastank and Linkin Park. Their rendition of "American Idiot" was fast, furious and managed to wake up all the celebrities sitting in the front row.

The Kanye West performance (with Mavis Staples, John Legend and the Blind Boys of Alabama) was something of a toss-up for me. It was definitely interesting to watch but the sheer ego of the whole presentation (um...he ended up with angel's wings by the end of the whole thing) left me a little cold. As for the bad peformances - JLo and Marc Anthony should never perform together ever, ever again. The song was boooooring (granted, I don't know Spanish but I have a feeling I would still be bored even if I did), the staging was ridiculous (let's watch them get dressed while they sing - yeah, that'll be fascinating) and JLo definitely missed her high notes. And, while I don't want to be a miser for faulting a fund raiser for tsunami relief, the multi-artist rendition of "Across the Universe" was painful beyond belief. Even the artists all looked like they were in pain.

As for the winners - Ray Charles won pretty much everything, it seemed like. As M always likes to say, "the award always goes to the dead people". Is anyone seriously going to tell me that the Ray Charles album was better than Usher or Green Day or Alicia Keys?? I really doubt it. He won because he died last year, pure and simple. I don't deny he is one of the greats of music; I just wish death didn't automatically grant award show riches.

Onto another topic, we have spent the last two days watching the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. M watches it every year and oohs and ahhs and spends the next two weeks really wishing that we could have a dog of our own! We have already decided that when we do have a place of our own, our first purchase will be a Tibetan Spaniel. These dogs are not too common in the States but they are said to be well-suited to city living, love to be near their "loved one", and are actually very good watch dogs. They are tiny so they don't attack but they do patrol and sound out warnings. And they are cute as heck. We even have a name already: "Dalai" (think about it, they're Tibetan - plus when we come home we can shout out "Hello Dalai"!) The breed actually did good this year in the show, placing 4th in its group. M also really loves Chihuahuas, Pugs and French Bull Dogs. I have a feeling we are going to end up having more than one dog! For my part I have also always loved Komondors, which have long corded hair all over their body. They look like walking mops! I can get behind any dog that has rasta braids!! Unfortunately, they tend to stink because if you wash them too much, they lose the braids.

The show was pretty good this year too. No poodles made it into the final round, which is rare. I just hate poodles with a passion. Such a stupid looking dog. The winner for the Terrier group was a really adorable Norfolk Terrier - a tiny, happy looking dog. The best group winner by far though was the winner of the Toy group - a Pekingese that made me crack up every time I saw it walk. The audience was loving that dog too - they cheered every time it showed. The Best in Show winner though was a beautifully colored and very well-trained German Pointer. As a bonus, we got to hear the judge explain her decision by saying "there's just something about this bitch that I liked". Just as long as it wasn't a poodle and I'm happy!

No CD review tonight - it's way later than I thought it was!

Current Mood: bitchy
Current Music: Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day

Look Out - It's iPod People!!
Now that the Hawaii trip has been documented ad nauseam, it's on to other topics. But I'm also bringing back the CD reviews and my continuing quest for the top 1000 songs of all time.

Three things I am loving right now:

My iPod: Wow! This thing is awesome! How did I ever live without it? I've loaded 1545 songs on it since the beginning of January and add more every day. It's so great to add albums and cut out all the tracks that I don't like. Better yet is to put the sucker on shuffle and revel in the odd combinations that result. It's like having your own personal radio station with only good music and no annoying ads or DJ's. I'm even in the process of adding all my beloved Billboard Hot 100 number one songs from 1953 to current. I can't wait to have a number one song listening marathon (which will take a couple of days since it's slighty more than 1000 songs…)

The Amazing Race: the class act of all reality shows. It just ended its current installment but a new one starts in 3 weeks - I recommend it highly. The latest round was problematic at points: there were too many interchangeable models competing, abusive Jonathan should have been kicked off the show for hitting his wife, and racist Kendra & nerdy Freddy (this guy is a model???) surely did not deserve to win. But the places these teams got to see - I would love to be on this show! And the challenges - genius! M and I always like to imagine which challenges we would take on. I still remember one awesome challenge from last season where the contestants rolled down the hills of New Zealand inside the big bouncy ball. How cool! The challenge that eliminated whiny Hayden (“Aaron you must fix this now” - as if she were incapable of doing anything on her own) this time around was a classic nail biter too (unlock one of 3000 padlocks with one key….yikes!) An awesome show!

The Gilmore Girls: this show has been a favorite of mine right from the start. I love the whole quirky cast, the rapid-fire pop culture laced dialogue, the cool setting of Stars Hollow. This show manages to be sweet, funny and intelligent all at the same time and I'll never understand why it doesn't get more attention.

And two things I am definitely not loving:

The gym: ah yes, I have started going to the gym again. It is one of life's necessary evils, I suppose. I have been going every day, with one day a week off for incentive (!) but I hate it and I think I always will. But I am determined so we'll see where it gets me! I just wish the already skinny bitches and pumped up himbos would just leave, go home and have some cake!

Ads: yep, good ole advertising. This one is brought on by the Super Bowl, which I did not watch. But it seems like people are more interested in the damn ads than they are in the game itself. I mean, the ad industry has got this whole country snowed if they actually manage to get people looking forward to watching something that has the sole purpose of trying to make you buy something. This isn't art here, people. So why discuss it as if it had actual value? And don't even get me started on the ads they show before a movie that you've just paid 10 bucks to watch.

And finally a CD review:

Air Supply's Greatest Hits. Yes, I do actually own an Air Supply album. Fact of the matter is, I loved them when I was a kid. I even wanted to see them in concert. It's been a good many years since I listened to this CD and the music has not held up well at all. It's saccharine and schmaltzy and the arrangements are so early 80's. That said, I still was able to find the love for “All Out of Love” and “Here I Am” which have held up fairly well. And I will always love the truly great “Making Love Out of Nothing At All”. This song is one of those epic, operatic Jim Steinman ballads that I am always a sucker for (he also wrote just about anything Meat Loaf has ever sung as well as “Total Eclipse of the Heart”). The song is basically a laundry list of things the singer is able to do: he knows how to whisper, he knows how to cry, he knows the ways of fame…yada, yada, yada. My favorite line was always that he could “make all the stadiums rock” - rather hilarious when you imagine girly voiced Air Supply guy making a stadium rock, but no matter! Alas, the one thing he cannot do? That's right - he cannot make love out of nothing at all. At least this one makes sense as opposed to the similarly themed “I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)” in which you can never quite figure out exactly what it is that Meat Loaf won't do. In any case, “…Nothing At All” is one of my all-time favorite songs - maybe even in the top 25. M, of course, is just too cool to admit that he would like any of these songs, so his list remains steady at 52 songs.

List Counter: M-52; me-118

Current Mood: sore
Current Music: Kissing a Fool - George Michael

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